Humbled

Prior to coming to Korea, I thought I had my life together. I came to Korea to learn and become a better teacher. I even made a 5 year plan to get my credential and master’s in Education at Pepperdine University (1 year) and become a Kindergarten teacher in California. I was learning, growing, and falling in love with God. But at the moment I am so humbled by God right now. He has changed my heart on so many things.

Planner: Being the meticulous, detailed and structured  planner that I am.. teaching isn’t my forte.. Humbled. I have no idea where I will be next year. Giving full and complete control to God has been one of my bigger struggles in university and even now. Who knows, I might be traveling the world going on missionary trips or going to grad school or working or living in a different continent. I know His plans are greater than my plans.. I need to cling onto this truth. Completely surrendering my life to Him and trusting Him. Humbled.

Majors and minors (doctrines): Throughout college I was torn between believing whether gifts have ceased to the point where it distracted me from my walk with God and fellowship with other believers. But being in Korea has changed my heart and perspective on those who view certain things in the Bible differently. Always with a discerning heart.. but not a judgmental heart. No longer majoring on a minor. Humbled.

Sisters in Christ: I met up with someone from the EM and she has been soooo encouraging and edifying. It’s been soooo long since I’ve last sat at a coffee shop to just talk about God. It’s the start of a beautiful friendship :). We don’t really know each other but we have so much in common. Same common goal in life.. having a kingdom mindset. Gives me goosebumps when I think about that.. It’s definitely a change from being a senior, the oldest class in university and now a noobie in the real world. I’m so used to serving and giving advice to others and now roles are reversed. Humbled.

“Lady in Waiting”: The preface of the book states that “Lady in Waiting is not about finding the right man, but being the right woman. Thus it focuses on ten qualities of a godly woman that are found in the Book of Ruth. These qualities will not only enhance your relationship with your heavenly Bridegroom, but also guide you as a single woman, guard you while you date, support you in marriage, and comfort you if you are ever widowed or divorced. As you read you will see these characteristics beautifully displayed in the life of Ruth. She recklessly abandons herself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently uses her single days, trusts God with her unwavering faith, demonstrates virtue in daily life, loves God with undistracted devotion, stands for physical and emotional purity, lives in security, responds to life with contentment, makes choices based on her convictions, and waits patiently for God to meet her needs.” I remember at the start of college I made a goal to be married by 23. But that’s out the window. I have so much growing and learning to do. I want to serve the Lord without restrictions. I’m going to cherish these single days. Humbled.

Essentials: Putting others first. Reading the Word daily. Community. Quiet time with God. Not compromising my faith. Preaching the Gospel to myself everyday.

I have sooo much growing to do. Need to learn to deny myself, my flesh and taking up the cross all day everyday.

I need MORE of YOU and less of me.

Mini Adventures in Gwangju

Yesterday we went hiking at Wolchusan National Park with some JLPers, CPIKers, and TaLKers. So nice to talk and hang out with some older gens! It was so pretty too! Definitely different than Yosemite.. I love being in nature! So crazy to think that God created all that. Standing at Cloud Bridge and looking down into Jeonnam was so amazing! We’re such tiny ppl living in our own little worlds and yet God still notices each and every one of us.

Today was such an awesome day :)! By far one one of my most encouraging weekends since the start of being in the TaLK program. Catherine and I went to Wolgwang English Ministry and we loved the message so much. The sermon was on the older brother in the prodigal son.

We had small groups after service! It’s been four months since I’ve last gone to a small groups or cell groups. We gathered in a circle and just shared. Wow…it was so amazing to talk about God with one another 🙂 I can see the joy and love these sisters in Christ have for God! So humbling… One of them shared about how when we go through trials we only see what is happening now but God sees the entire picture and how it all fits into His plan.

Spoke with a couple on volunteering at one of the orphanages in Gwangju. I can’t wait to babysit and care for them.

I really miss community and serving and I’m so excited to be part of one!!… 🙂

Updates!

It’s been such a rough couple of weeks. Despite the trialing couple of weeks.. things are turning around! 🙂

Even living out in the middle of nowhere in Korea, God is so present here. A couple of my students have been wearing “Jesus is my King” shirts. My second grader managed to shave off a bit of his eyebrow. Poor kid doesn’t even know its missing.

I’ve been to 5 churches and was about to throw in the towel for searching for a long term church to serve in. But wow, God’s sovereign planning.. over the past weekend I’ve gotten to know a fellow TaLK scholar better and she’s been such a huge encouragement to me. Finding sisters in Christ that I could relate to has be so difficult..but I”m glad I got to know her better :). (I know there are a handful of brothers and sisters in Christ out there.. I just haven’t met them yet!) Sunday I went to a church in Gwangju with Catherine. We both agreed that finding a sound English ministry church was super difficult in Korea. We agreed that expository teaching is the type of teaching that really resonates with us. During a sports day at the church I got to bond with some of the sisters in Christ there. Emily happens to volunteer at a local girl’s orphanage downtown Gwangju. I will be volunteering there shortly! So stoked about volunteering at an orphanage for the first time! She also has a friend who has the same desires as me! I haven’t met her yet.. but sounds awesome! Her friend wants to get her master’s in biblical counseling and become an orphanage director in Nigeria, Africa. I was worried about having to find new friends when most of the TaLK scholars whom I’ve bonded with were leaving because they were on 6 month contracts. I really do believe that getting plugged in a church is essential to community and growth. Bearing each other’s burdens. Definitely all in His perfect timing.

After thinking about my living situation… I decided to talk to my mentor teacher and ask if it would be possible if I could live in town instead at school. Being at school for the past 3 months has it’s pros and cons. But it’s been super tough to constantly be alone and without community throughout the 5 days out of the week that I am here. When I left for the states.. I seriously contemplated on not returning and just leaving all my stuff there. But if I were to do that.. I would be a huge disappointment to my kids and to those around me. My flesh is so weak and sinful to even think of such things. But after talking to Catherine.. we came to a conclusion that I should just ask for housing in town.Anyhoos, one miscommunication led to another.. but after all that.. I can live in town. PRAISE GOD! We went apartment hunting and found a pretty nice place for me to live in for the next 8 months. The place is still under construction.. so hopefully.. I’ll be able to move in a few weeks the latest!

Although there aren’t any TaLK scholars living in town.. there are a few foreign teachers there who I have met once. There’s also a Chinese TaLK scholar who teaches at my school on Thursdays who is also the only girl in her program in town. I think it’s seriously God’s planning for Him to place two Chinese girls to teach in Haenam under a year contract. I also believe that God is also a very humorous God.. it turns out that she speaks Mandarin fluently and Korean proficiently and I speak English fluently and Cantonese proficiently.. therefore we don’t have a common language. But we managed to become pretty good friends. Four years ago my friend really felt that God was tugging at his heart to tell me to take Mandarin 2 semester with him. Without that one year of Mandarin in college, I don’t think I would be able to speak to her at all. 🙂

Pictures of my new accommodation 🙂

Bucket List: Korea

-Read a book a month

-DMZ

-KPOP concert (Super Junior/Big Bang/ 2NE1)

-Go hiking

-Run a marathon

-Eat octopus tentacles

-Go to a baseball game

-Go to a basketball game

-Busan & beaches

-Yeosu World Expo

-Camping

-Bungee jumping

-Canoeing (Reminds me of high school when I dragonboated.. sweet memories)

Challenge Accepted!

Out of the entire semester I would have to say that my third graders have been the most challenging of challenging class to teach. The third graders are scored below basic for English. All 15 out of 16 of them cannot even read letters from the alphabet. My mentor teacher who has been teaching for several decades has trouble managing the class. Imagine kids running in and out of your class, standing in chairs and tables, talking while you are talking… Yesterday my mentor teacher left early and so I didn’t have a co teacher to help me translate. My students were extremely naughty yesterday.. So as a result I had them write sentences in English and they rebelled to do so. So I did not allow them to leave the class unless they finished their work.

Out of all my students, one of my students in particular has a temper issue and acted out when I made him write sentences. His two year old brother came to see him and his clothes was super dirty and looked old. I am guessing that they are from a poor family. The TaLK program is geared towards having TaLK scholars teach in rural areas and therefore most students come from broken and or very poor backgrounds. My heart really breaks for them and I really don’t want to punish them by making them write lines… I really am here to help them succeed and get into a good college. Even if it means I delay school for an entire year by extending my contract. Although I have decided to not be a teacher in the long run.. I will definitely try my very best to help them succeed! I am willing to tutor them extra hours for free and buy them English materials. But I think ultimately I need to learn Korean… Enough Korean to have conversations with them!

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus

 

I want You.. more than this world

Your ways are higher

Your thoughts are higher

 

All in Good Company

It’s been such a huge blessing to have gotten the chance to visit Cali! 🙂 Spending time with people as if I never left. I love spending quality time with people! Spending late nights at the grocery store trying to figure out what to eat, chit-chattering away about our futures until we fall asleep, and laughing at ourselves/each other for stupid things that we do. Good old days. Although my trip was only for 4 days.. I would say it was super refreshing and I am excited to see where God takes my classmates post graduation. Although we’ve all moved onto different paths in life, I know for a fact that it was for the better. 🙂 It was definitely super hard to leave them to go back to Korea, but I know for a fact that year 2012 will be dedicated to Korea.

After speaking with a few people from home about my future plans.. I realized how uncertain my future is.. still waiting for God as to what I should do for the upcoming year.  There are tons of options as to where I want to earn my BA in Urban Missions Program,  Biblical Counseling or Biblical Counseling Certification. I was thinking about applying for grad school internationally, east coast, or California. So many choices! The programs that I’ve researched under are super rigorous and intense.. Majoring in Psychology at UC Merced was such a breeze and I got by easily by cramming the night before. But the grad programs are quite the opposite and will require lots more of studying and at least 100 hours of interning with a mentor counselor. The entrance exam at The Master’s College requires knowledge in the entire Bible, Old Testament, New Testament commentaries, and Wayne Gruden’s Systematic Theology.. Ahhhh…

 

I for sure want to help others esp the little ones who are placed in unfavorable situations by sharing them the Gospel 🙂

Check out the following videos from the grad schools I’m considering applying! 🙂

Westminster Theological Seminary Philadelphia

The Master’s College

Grace to You: Right Priorities

Good stuff. I’ve been following John MacArthur’s devos sporadically. I really liked this one in particular. 🙂 “Christians must love Christ so much that by comparison they will seem to hate their families and themselves.” Being so lost in love with God.

http://www.gty.org/resources/devotionals/strength-for-today

Trials’ Lessons: Right Priorities

“For now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.” – Genesis 22:12 Trials from the Lord will reveal to believers what they love and appreciate the most. A big part of the reason for the Lord’s testing Abraham at Moriah was to show him what he valued most in life. The question God wanted Abraham to answer was, “Do you love Isaac more than Me, or do you love Me more than Isaac?” And the Lord was prepared for the drastic test of taking Abraham’s son’s life if that’s what was necessary for Abraham to give God first place in everything. God also tries the sincerity of those today who claim to love Him (see Deut. 13:3; Matt. 22:36-37). Jesus was so concerned that we have our priorities right that He made this radical statement: “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26). Christians must love Christ so much that by comparison they will seem to hate their families and themselves. In order to test this first love, God might in some dramatic fashion ask us to renounce the many tugs and appeals from family and place His will and affections first in our life. That kind of radical obedience, which is what Abraham had, always leads to God’s blessings. Jesus Himself was a perfect example of this principle. Because He was fully human as well as fully God, our Lord did not escape ordinary pain and hardship while on earth. As the Suffering Servant (Isa. 53), He learned completely what it means to obey through pain and adversity, all the way to His crucifixion (Heb. 5:7-9). As a result, the Son was exalted by the Father (Phil. 2:8-9). God sometimes makes our path of obedience go through the experiences of trials and sufferings. But if we are faithful to His Word and will, those difficulties will teach us to value and appreciate God’s many blessings. Suggestions for Prayer: Pray that your priorities each day would stay in line with God’s. For Further Study: Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9. What must be the top priority for all believers?

Home-bound

I can’t believe in approximately 4 days, I will be sleeping in my bed at home! I’m going back for medical check-ups, Mother’s Day, my entering class’s commencement, and catching up with some friends. After commencement, it might be the last time I will see my ucmerced friends in a long time. Everyone is moving to different places. I also can’t wait to visit my kids from the Childhood Education Center & church. I miss the little ones.. they seriously grow up so quickly.

Looking forward to:

-2012 Commencement!

-Family & friends

-Eating steak/baked chicken/legit sandwiches

-Driving

-San Francisco Bible Church = community! (I miss my home church soooo much.. I miss intense studies in the Word)

-Beaches

-English

-Tapioca drinks

Will be missing:

-Students

-Mentor teacher&staff

-Talk Scholars

-Korean food

-Volleyball

-Cheap things

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Psalm 89:6-10

For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord?

Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord?

a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones,

and awesome above all who are around him?

O Lord God of hosts,

who is mightly as you are, O Lord,

with your faithfulness all arond you?

You rule the raging of the sea;

when its waves rise, you still them.

 

So true, no one compares to God. He’s the only one I long for.